4 things people find most challenging about divorce.

4 things people find most challenging about divorce.
Harderwijk, 28 february 2017. I practice law for 31 years now and what I have heard from people that have consulted me concerning their divorce is that there are certain things that are most challenging for them.

  1. One is the stress and uncentainty as a consequence of their choice to end their marriage. Do I have to look for a new home?
  2. Do I see the kids in future and can I be there for them?
  3. What about my income, will it be enough to live on?
  4. The most challenging for people are fights concerning money and the fight over the kids.

After practising law for 16 years I therefore have chosen to become a mediator, to help them communicate effectively and fight less.

The main challenge is that 80% of all marriage that end in divorce could have been saved, if we had learned to deal with money. And yes, we are accountable ourselves and the curriculum in schools and at universities are determined by the government for centuries and will be inthe future if we don’t do something. Their self interest is that we stay dependent on them and we keep on paying our taxes.

Since in Europe and the US we are getting poorer the last 40 to 50 years per capita, although the GNP might still be growing, government has a growing challenge and that is that they can’t generate enough taxes any more and the problem gets bigger and bigger now the middle class is getting smaller and smaller.

These same people that haven’t learned to deal with money also work with the government and they are structurely spending more then the government earns.

Everybody that earns less then he or she is spending will get into trouble eventually. The government is no exception, although they think otherwise. So there is no self interest for the government to do anything about it and train children in primary school in financial skills. We have to do it ourselves because like I said we are accountable.

A divorce is most of the times a wake up call, to take the responsibility for your life and your finances into your own hands. There is no simple solution, because it is all about mindset. In the meantime your divorce has to be settled in an effective way.

If you have any question call me at: 071-5249316, or send me a mail to: oosthout@oosthoutadvocatuur.nl


The 3 most common mistakes people make in a divorce when children are involved

The 5 most common mistakes people make in a divorce when children are involved
Leiden, February 23, 2017. In the Netherlands when spouses decide to divorce and children are involved there are a few things you should know before taking action.

  1. Nowadays the legislator has decided that parents, also after a divorce have co parenthood. So where children are concerned you could say there is no difference whether you are married or not. Parents have to communicate with each other constantly. One parent can not move with the children without consent of the other parent.
  2. If you have moved with the kids and you ask the court permission to do so after you have done this, they will not grant you your request in most cases.
  3. Another thing is, that as soon as court procedures have started, the parents should make a parenting plan, including visiting rights, and send it to the court via a lawyer, a so called advocaat. If you do not do this, the court will not handle the case.
  4. Nowadays there are more and more people that think they can handle their own divorce. This is not such a good idea. I know, often financial reasons are taken into account and there is a saying: “It takes a fool to be your own lawyer, doctor, etc.”
  5. There is another reason why you should not do this. Nowadays laws change so fast, that you cannot be aware of all the consequences. Think about your pensionplan and whether you should have been married with a prenoptual agreement or not for fiscal reasons.

If you have any question call me at +31 71 5249316, or send me an e-mail on oosthout@oosthoutadvocatuur.nl, or go to our website and use the box to ask your question.

Robert Oosthout.